About a year ago, I met someone who didn’t make eye contact when we shook hands or even when we talked for a few minutes. If I’m being honest, my initial impression wasn’t great—I thought they seemed disengaged or maybe even disinterested in me. But a few minutes into our conversation, they shared how they struggled with social interactions. That moment of honesty completely flipped my perception. Suddenly, I saw them in a whole new light, and from that point on, I really wanted to help. Today, they’re an important business contact for me.
This experience reminded me of something I always tell my kids: if you don’t like someone, it’s often because you don’t know them well enough yet. Abraham Lincoln said “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better”. Everyone has their own way of connecting with others, shaped by their experiences and personality. In sales, understanding this is crucial. It’s a reminder to step back and appreciate the different ways people communicate and to adjust our approach accordingly.
It starts with awareness of our own communication style. I’ll admit, for me, staying “in the moment” has been a skill I’ve had to work on. I’m one of those people who, if you say something interesting, my mind can start spinning down its own rabbit hole, and I sometimes forget to keep up with the current conversation. The Indicator team knows this well (sorry team). I have had the comment a few times, “Mike, focus!”—not because I don’t care, but because it’s just how my mind works. When I was younger, I used to try to hide these “quirks,” but now, I actually quite enjoy and even celebrate them.
In sales, knowing different communication styles is an underrated superpower. Every day, we’re engaging with clients, prospects, partners, each with their own unique way of connecting. If you assume everyone interacts the same way you do, you’re going to run into trouble. A lot of times, what we perceive as disinterest or aloofness is simply a different style of connecting.
Being able to read people and adapt to their style is key. It allows you to dig below the surface and build real, trusting relationships, even with those who seem distant or reserved at first. Too often, we might give up too quickly, thinking someone isn’t interested, when they may just need us to shift our approach.
Sometimes however, despite your best efforts, the connection just isn’t there. But if you take the time to understand someone, you might end up with an unexpected ally, a loyal client, or even a friend.
Getting communication right is about making every interaction count!