When was the last time you paused to reflect on your negotiation style?
Our members are reporting that they are working their negotiation skills ‘overtime’ at the moment dealing with the current economic conditions. Increasingly many are negotiating harder than ever to attract and retain good people, there is negotiating to changes in terms of trade in response to capacity constraints, many are dealing with the often difficult negotiations around frequent & significant price increases as the country deals with inflation, rising input costs and fluctuating exchange rate & we are negotiating with suppliers to ensure that we are being looked after in the face of serious supply chain constraints.
It seems to me then that now is a very good time to pause and reflect on our negotiation style and approach.
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am”. This is a quote from Harvey Specter, a character from the Legal TV show Suits. Harvey is straight out of the “I win you lose” school of negotiation and I would suggest that this is increasingly an outdated negotiation style. I grew up watching TV and movie characters like this looking to gain the upper hand in the art of negotiation but more often than not they taught us the wrong lessons. They taught us to crush the opposition at all costs however we should be using our negotiating skills to achieve the opposite, to create long lasting relationships.
Personally, I have a real interest in negotiation as it draws on so many sales skills that challenge our thinking about how we work with new and existing client relationships, employees and managers, family members, the list goes on. We need to draw on research, planning, empathy, reading body language and tone and our ability to hold our nerve and most importantly foster great business and personal relationships. All elements of negotiation are a study in human nature.
Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator wrote a popular book on negotiation called “Never split the difference” which is well worth a read. I don’t agree with everything he says in the book (he has after all learnt his trade working with hostage takers) however the common traits that came across were simple sales tools such as understanding the person you are negotiating with, ask great questions (he is a big fan of mirroring) and that negotiating is mainly operating on the emotional level and less so on logic. Chris wants his opposite to like him so that he can build trust. When you build rapport, you are more likely to receive honest answers and insights. This is critical in negotiation just as it is in sales.
One of the biggest learnings in my career has been not to try and get an agreement too soon. Just like a sales process, slow down to speed up. I can recall several situations where I was too eager to bring on a new client that I very quickly agreed to something I shouldn’t have. I suggest that everyone will recognise this and the advice I can offer here is take some time, take a breath, let the other person talk more and remember that usually you have time to not decide too quickly. I will respect someone more for not being a pushover.
If you want to study negotiation, a good place to start is to watch the negotiation skills of young children. There are the ones that have the ‘hassle you to you fold’ approach or the ‘I love you now buy me an ice cream’. A couple of years ago I had a bunch of kids in the back of my car heading back home for dinner when they started crying out for Ice creams. My first and second responses were a firm ‘no ice cream’ until one of them said ‘come on Mike we are only young for such a short time”. It was one of the finest pieces of negotiation I have witnessed as she played to my emotions. I couldn’t argue with that and within minutes they were all holding ice creams that I was happy to purchase.
Remember that negotiation is not just a formal process, but we are doing little negotiations all of the time and negotiation should certainly never be a ‘win at all costs’ scenario. In fact, if there is a loser then most likely both sides have failed. Spending time thinking about your approach and developing your skill set will deliver in spades.
Here are some of my tips on the art of negotiating:
- Be prepared – do your research prior to conducting a negotiation, what are you likely to be asked, what is your customer looking for, what are they trying to achieve in their roles, what are their communication styles
- Start mini negotiations early in any sales process. Particularly with larger deals a signed agreement should be a hygiene factor not a win or lose situation at the end of your process as areas to negotiate will be on the table early.
- Price is only one lever – what are you prepared to give up, it may be if someone is looking for a better deal that you instead offer them better payment terms, or add in something else that costs you very little but may be seen as valuable to your opposite
- Make sure you are negotiating with the right person – often individuals may revert to saying they will have to get permission from someone else above them, it is very hard to negotiate with a third person.
- Focus on the needs of the other person – what do they need to look good?
- Avoid being a pushover – pushovers lose respect and reduce trust
- Try not to rush, take a breath
- Remember that In a typical B2B negotiation the goal is to build long term relationships that are beneficial to both sides.
